Minnesota Sports Forum

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:28 pm**

I am in, Q. This scouting gig comes with great seats and free beer right?

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:33 pm**

KiwiMatt wrote:
bleedspeed177 wrote:I could pull double duty. i could be Crunch and Media Relations.

Dam I was hoping for a gig!

I would like to put my name forward as an international scout.

You're hired Kiwi! You have Australia, New Zealand, and Canada, which includes everything north of Mille Lacs Lake!

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:39 pm**

It's all shaping up nicely. I think our interest expense on a $626M loan will be rougly $30-40M/year. Then we have to pay the players...let's say $100M/year because we'll want a good team. Looks like Revenues are roughly $128M/year...so we are cutting it close. But luckily, there shouldn't be any other big expenses outside of interest expense and players -right? :-) This is just too easy. Why didn't we do this a long time ago.

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:42 pm**

Phenom's_Revenge wrote:I am in, Q. This scouting gig comes with great seats and free beer right?

....You'll have to check with Carlos on the free stuff. He holds the purse strings around here.

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:44 pm**

Carlos Danger wrote:It's all shaping up nicely. I think our interest expense on a $626M loan will be rougly $30-40M/year. Then we have to pay the players...let's say $100M/year because we'll want a good team. Looks like Revenues are roughly $128M/year...so we are cutting it close. But luckily, there shouldn't be any other big expenses outside of interest expense and players -right? :-) This is just too easy. Why didn't we do this a long time ago.

(don't forget about the legal expenses we need to set aside for the lawsuits against Abe).

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:45 pm**

Q12543 wrote:
Phenom's_Revenge wrote:I am in, Q. This scouting gig comes with great seats and free beer right?

....You'll have to check with Carlos on the free stuff. He holds the purse strings around here.

This is only going to work if we work together as a collective unit.

As such, I'm willing to reduce the amount of cloth and spandex for the dancers, so we can save a few bucks for Phenom's drinking.

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:55 pm**

TheSP wrote:Before I get to far into the halftime plans let me be sure, strippers are not okay?

You have creative license. Just as long as there are no midgets or unicycles involved, pretty much anything goes.

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 3:57 pm**

AbeVigodaLive wrote:
Q12543 wrote:
Phenom's_Revenge wrote:I am in, Q. This scouting gig comes with great seats and free beer right?

....You'll have to check with Carlos on the free stuff. He holds the purse strings around here.

This is only going to work if we work together as a collective unit.

As such, I'm willing to reduce the amount of cloth and spandex for the dancers, so we can save a few bucks for Phenom's drinking.

Oh, nice try Abe. Khans was on the phone with the suppliers - they cut their price in half and they are giving us double the volume! Now you'll have to figure out a routine involving jump suits (and yes, only one person per jump suit).

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 4:02 pm**

Q12543 wrote:
TheSP wrote:Before I get to far into the halftime plans let me be sure, strippers are not okay?

You have creative license. Just as long as there are no midgets or unicycles involved, pretty much anything goes.

Thankfully I told the midgets I expected they would be part of the show, but up to that point it was only written in pencil. I asked them if they knew why it was written in pencil? The replied "because your dumb ass didn't bring a pen". They were correct of course, but that wasn't my damn point.

Posted: **Mon Oct 26, 2015 4:07 pm**

Q12543 wrote:
Carlos Danger wrote:
AbeVigodaLive wrote:I've read that there a lot of prospective owners who want in on an NBA team. Desperately. I'm guessing they're circling the waters around 1st Avenue in the next few weeks/months...

What if all of us on here kick in some money....we could probably raise well over $1000. Then...we go to TCF or Anchor Bank and get a loan for the other $625M and BOOM - we own this team! The only thing left to decide would be which of us would be in charge of what. :-)

ONLY $625M? With the kind of brain power we have here and that initial seed fund of 1K, I imagine they might even give us $626M!!!!

OK, here are my initial thoughts on whose in charge of what:

LST - POBO (he golfs and seems kinda smart - close 'nuff!)
Lip - General Manager (sorry Milt)
60WinTim - Marketing
Carlos - Finance (If he can turn 1K into a $626M loan, I'm pretty sure he can make the Wolves profitable!)
Monster - Human Resources
Khans - Contract negotiations (he ain't budging!).
Camden - College Scouting. (he and Khans share a cube - tee hee).
Cool - Coaching search (so far he's the number one candidate in his search)
Mikkeman - Analytics (he's my manager, I'm just a lowly staff analyst)
Abe - Cheerleading squad chaperon
Papal - Team chaplain (and chaperon for Abe)
Bleed - Crunch
SP - Halftime entertainment
Wildwolf - East coast advanced scout (limited to just the Knicks and Nets)
Phenom - West coast scouting (that's everyone except the Knicks and Nets)
Porkchop - Rubio's personal assistant and water boy

Now I know I missed a number of you, but have no fear, we still have openings in the Legal department, Injury Rehabilitation and Recovery (we are WAY understaffed here - help wanted!), and international scouting. Please contact Monster in HR with your position of interest and as long as you can answer a short quiz successfully (hint: Lasagna is one of the answers), you have a spot!

I nominate this for best post ever on this forum. Brilliant!

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