The Wolves are Cursed Chronicles.

[AbeVigodaLive]

Sadly, I'm not super duper interested in the on-court product at the moment (on pace for 54 losses) as the team has now lost 11 straight games with its superstar building block, Karl Towns, on the court.

So while lamenting about how we first became so cursed with this franchise (see Rick Mahorn) ... https://minnesotasports.enjin.com/forum/m/15059925/viewthread/33025640-zach-lavine/page/2 ... I figured it might actually be good and constructive to recall that this current Wolves-infused trauma isn't anything we haven't seen before.

We can handle this stuff better than anybody. So feel free to share your own tales of Wolves lore. For reals, you'll feel better afterwards.


[note: or, you'll jump off the nearest bridge.]

[AbeVigodaLive]

April 23, 1991:

"We had a meeting just that morning and all we talked about was, 'Winning wasn't paramount, developing younger players and please, communicate with the players more,' " Wolfenson said. "Well, we were sort of defied."

That was the quote from Wolves part-owner, Marv Wolfenson, moments after he fired the first coach in Timberwolves history. A month earlier, the Wolves told Musselman to lose more games... and he refused.

Yes. The first coach in Timberwolves history was fired for winning TOO MUCH. https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1991-04-23-sp-681-story.html

At the time of that well-earned victory over the equally mediocre, Dallas Mavericks, the Wolves improved to 18 - 36... eerily similar to the Wolves 15 - 29 mark this season. The Wolves improved slightly the rest of the way, the first "hey, we might win some games next year based on this late-season surge" moment in Wolves history!

Alas, Musselman was fired. And that loss really came back to cost the Wolves dearly for all of us draft-pick hording gurus out there. The Wolves dropped in the 1991 draft behind that Dallas team based on that one game. OH NO!!!!

The Wolves didn't get the guy they wanted. And they had to settle for https://www.basketball-reference.com/players/l/longllu01.htmlLuc Longley, forever setting the franchise back. If only they tanked better...

... They could have landed soon-to-be NBA superstar, https://www.basketball-reference.com/draft/NBA_1991.htmlDoug Smith, with the Dallas pick instead. Oh... wait... Nevermind.

Anyway, Wolvenson and Co. got their wish. New coach, Jimmy Rodgers, arrived with a clear message for the team: "Tank. Tank. Tank. And I'll be super nice while we lose!" mantra.

The '92 squad won barely 1/2 as many games (15 - 67) and the team got the most ping pong balls in the draft. Tanking works!!!!!!

Oh, they dropped to #3 and missed out on Shaquille O'Neal + Alonzo Mourning. The Wolves got https://static.wixstatic.com/media/8c641c_d236a0a3cc9b43a2a0c946c2c63463ca~mv2.jpg/v1/fill/w_500,h_500,al_c,q_90/file.jpgChristian Laettner instead. Speaking of Laettner... that's it until the next installment of "The Wolves are Cursed Chronicles."

[thedoper]

Isn't firing for winning a recipe for a curse? It's like a horror movie plot. Keep these coming it is great. The general positive sentiment about Taylor has long been a result of the complete dumpster fire ownership situations Minnesota sports fans have enjoyed over the years. Go Wolves!!

[Q12543 [enjin:6621299]]

Heh, good stuff Abe. Man, an ignominious beginning to our franchise...

[Shumway]

We're overthinking it guys. Our first draft pick was named Pooh!

[AbeVigodaLive]

Chronicle #3:

Loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, loser, winner." (pointing to himself).
- Christian Laettner

After the Wolves dumped try-hard Musselman, their plan to tank was in full-steam ahead mode. Nice guy, https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/3EoAAOSwAGxeAj3I/s-l1600.jpgbad-hair dude Jimmy Rodgers, was the perfect man for the job. After all, he was the guy who oversaw the decline of the Boston Celtics dynasty.

The team performed wonderfully in the first real tank job season. They traded vet, Ty Corbin... jettisoned leading scorer, Tony Campbell, to the bench.... and lost. And lost. It was wonderfully and magically quintessential Timberwolves.

15 wins.
67 losses.

Their reward was that ill-fated 1992 draft lottery. Well, we know how that turned out. But the thing is... Christian Laettner wasn't terrible.

18.2 ppg / 8.7 reb / 47.4% fg.

It was just enough for overzealous Wolves fans to talk themselves into thinking the franchise would be fine with Laettner instead of Mourning or O'Neal. But the warning signs were there.

Unlike the Magic who won 20 more games. Or, the Hornets who won 13 more and made the 2nd round of the playoffs... the Wolves' tank-infused improvement was more subtle:

19 wins.
63 losses.

And the Wolves would not tolerate that level of ineptitude, so they blamed... wait for it... the COACH! They fired Jimmy Rodgers early in the season and replaced him with Sidney Lowe in what could be classified as the franchise's first-ever "country club" decision. Lowe was a former player... a really really bad one.

2.3 ppg
31.9% fg
AND HE STARTED 38 GAMES!!!!

Arguably, the worst season by a starter in NBA history. But wait... there's more about good old Sidney Lowe:
4 seasons as a coach

13 - 40 (.245) Wolves
20 - 62 (.244) Wolves
23 - 59 (.280) Grizzlies
23 - 59 (.280) Grizzlies
0 - 8 (.000) Grizzlies... replaced by Hubie Brown who went 28 - 46.

But it doesn't end there, sadly.

Lowe ended up in college at his alma mater, NC State. They were coming off 5 straight NCAA tourney appearances, where they won at least one tourney game 4 times.

The streak was broken Lowe's first year. And they didn't return in any of Lowe's 5 seasons as head coach. Oh no. So Lowe was fired...

And NC State immediately won 9 more games under the new coach and made at least the 2nd round in 4 straight NCAA tourney appearances.

Summary: Sidney Lowe might be (1) one of the worst NBA players in history. (2) Sidney Lowe is almost definitely one of the https://bleacherreport.com/articles/514524-nba-power-rankings-the-50-worst-coaches-in-nba-history#slide38worst head coaches in basketball history.

And he got his start in Minnesota!!!

But I digress... back to Laettner.

The former Dookie regressed a bit in year 2, giving us a classic "He's just young, just give him time!" narrative:

16.8 ppg / 8.6 reb / 44.8% fg

Then, his scoring and rebounding went down again in year 3. Finally, mercifully, Laettner was traded with Sean Rooks for Andrew Lang and Spud Webb in year 4... where he started for a playoff team in the 2nd round of the playoffs.

Spud Webb started for the Wolves... and shot a career low 39.4% fg. He'd be out of the league the next season after only 4 games. Sound familiar? Read previous Chronicles for similar stories!

Andrew Lang was a starter in MN. Then, was traded for a 1st rd pick (Rasho Nesterovic) that summer.

In the end, Christian Laettner wasn't terrible. He wasn't great. But he was memorable as a Timberwolves player. And like many after him, he's just a key figure in the legacy of Wolves ineptitude we've all learned to embrace and cherish.

Up next? Buckle up... The Eastbay Funk is on its way...

[Q12543 [enjin:6621299]]

My god, to think Abe hasn't even reached the Kahn era yet!

[kekgeek]

Im loving these Abe

[mjs34]

My god, to think Abe hasn't even reached the Kahn era yet!

Wait till he gets to Mccants

[thedoper]

Dont you dare badmouth JR. He just came at the wrong time when POT was evil and illegal.